I have never known anyone to have more bad luck on blind dates than me. My first blind date was a real winner. She seemed like a nice, shy girl at first. Once she got a bit more comfortable around me she would just not stop talking. At some point during her one way discourse, she started to talk about her kidney problems. Apparently she had recurring kidney stone issues. I was dumb struck during this diatribe on her part, which she took to be undivided interest on my part. I guess at one point I expressed my disbelief in what she was saying. She then said, “You don't believe me? Well look at this!”. She then started rummaging through her purse and pulled out a small medicine bottle. She opened it and emptied it onto the table. I could not believe what was laying there! Three small pebbles which I took to be her kidney stones. She felt compelled to carry them around with her! This was just too bizarre for me.
After dinner she excused herself to the ladies room. After about 20 minutes I began to figure that she had skipped out on me. I asked the waitress if she would check. The waitress went into the washroom and immediately came running out shouting for someone to call the ambulance. I ran in to see if there was anything I could do to help and noticed vomit all over the floor. It seems this girl was anorexic and is now in a mental hospital for her eating disorder. Funny I didn't notice she had any problem, but then I had thought it a little weird that she was wearing such bulky clothing on such a hot day. Guess you really don't know what you have till the wrapping comes off.
I did let my friends suck me into a few more blind dates, but fortunately, none of them gave me the same severe negative reaction as the first one. There was the goth looking more like Dracula's bride than a date, miss sunshine who was so bubbly she made you want to vomit, tattoo lady with snakes and lizards adorning all of her visible skin, and iron maiden who wore tons of metal stuff stuck through various parts of her anatomy (yuk). But I just classified these as my personal turn offs because I have seen all of them since with other guys.
My very last blind date was really a humdinger. A now ex-friend of mine gave her my email address and told me that she was really hot. Anyway we chatted through email and spoke on the phone several times, she sounded very sexy and cool so I could hardly wait to meet her. Apparently she had the hots for meet me too. Being young and not too affluent at the time, we decided to meet at a Red Lobster. I arrived first and was sweating with nervousness about meeting this hot sexy chick. An old model compact pulled into the parking lot riding low in the front end. The door opened, and my 'hot sexy' date extricated herself from it!
My hot sexy date was huge! Like a blob of blubber! She had totally set me up! She told me she had an average body type. When I saw her jiggling across the parking lot, I thought she looked like an elephant, but then quickly changed my mind. Elephants are so much more graceful.
My face must have looked shocked, but before she could see me, I managed to compose myself and put my best foot forward (all the time hoping that she would not step on it). The waiter brought her to my table and we ordered our drinks and food. Our food arrived, but she was having difficulty reaching her plate because her beer vat stomach was in the way. I was stunned to watch her calmly pick up the end of the table, pull it towards her, and plunk the edge of it on her abdomen. She ate like she had not seen food in a week, and I watched in amazement as she polished off her food. I was so caught up in the freak show that this was turning into that I had forgotten to eat at all. She reached over and grabbed mine asking, “You're not eating this are you?” My amazement was not over because I got to watch as she ordered four deserts all at the same time. She put them away with amazing speed. I have no idea if her taste buds had time to register the onslaught of taste variations. I paid the bill, which put a serious dent in my wallet, and wound the evening down as quickly as it was polite to do. I stopped by a McDonald’s on the way home for a burger and onion rings because I was still hungry and it was all I could afford. I just ordered. After this evening's spectacle, I could not face super-sizing it like I usually do. She e-mailed me telling me she had a great time and wanted to know when we were getting together again. I told her that I was sorry but I would not be able to see her anymore because my company had just informed me that day that I would be transferred to another location across the country and I would be moving by the end of the week. What a coward I was, but I just could not tell her what I really thought.
I have wised up since then. No more blind dates set up by friends for me.
From now on Online Dating Sites are the only places I hang out. Needless to say, my BS radar is much improved so I have almost never been disappointed, and never as much as any of my 'blind dates' of the past.
Here is where I found the top online dating sites to join:
best online dating sites
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